Ask Helen

Helen, Despite my having asked him not to, James eats food all over the house. Over the past few weeks, he's spilled a full glass of milk and has slopped a bit of salsa on the carpet in his bedroom. As a result, the carpet is crunchy where the milk spilled and there's a stain where the salsa landed. Although I don't have to look at it daily, it bothers me because the carpet will need to be cleaned or replaced at latest when it comes time to sell the house. This will take time and/or money. Any suggestions on how to handle this? N.F.

Dear N.F.
This is one of the more challenging issues to deal with since there is no direct
 consequence or simple way for you to control the casual destruction of your property.
However it does provide you with an opportunity to possibly save some money, eat
 healthier and may result in fewer 'accidents' around the house.
You might  consider reviewing what you buy in the way of food. If there is no salsa
in the house it can't be spilled. Fresh vegetables and fruit don't stain in the
same way. Plain or bottled water is similiarly non staining. This can be a three
 fold benefit. You could be buying healthier and non staining food and reducing
your food bill. I suspect that much of what you buy is not so much for you as it
 is for James. The benefits to taking a second look at your grocery purchases could
be well worth the time spent.
I would not tell James about your change in grocery shopping. If he notices and
complains about the lack of snack foods, listen politely and remember the 'Mmmmm'
approach, where you don't actually respond with any explanations or promises. If
 you miss any of the things you will be cutting, you can always find a way to eat
them during the day. or better still, do without.